Getting Jiggy with the Fire

[Seriously sick of serious]

So much poetry on the contributions page, and hey, it all rhymes. Gotta grab some of that rhyming action:

Getting Jiggy with the Fire

The fire is smoking
It is so toking
I am choking
My hankie's soaking

The fire is raging
My phone is paging
My friends are ageing
They're yelling 'Hey Jean'

But my name's not Jean
Although the name's keen
And Jean may have seen
That old fire being mean

The fire is hot
It makes me fraught
It's a Commie plot
So I'm smoking pot

The fire grows wild
Inside I'm a child
This fatty's too mild
Roll another! I smiled

The fire is big
It burns every twig
One big mo' fo' gig
That fire don't give a frig

The fire is moving
It is not soothing
Our firefighters are proving
They are oh! so grooving

The firefighters are tired
Yet they're totally wired
That's why they were hired
Working in heat enough to be fryered

Us townfolk felt worried
And so we scurried
Under ash we're buried
Like in a blender we'll be pureed

The gougers are greedy
They want money speedy
They stick it to the needy
Oh they are so seedy

The rich lost their houses
But at least not their spouses
Some may become souses
Sipping whine in silk blouses

Food vouchers handed out
To the rich with clout
Such neediness they spout
Buying caviar, perfume and trout

The looky-loo boaters obstruct
The warnings they blithely bucked
Everyone agrees they sucked
And ought to be royally *ucked

The fire has stopped
Retardant lies glopped
Firefighters are dropped
From exhaustion they're plopped

So it's bye! bye! fire
Of you I tire
You don't inspire
And you can just go die(r)
Pffft

[getting by high and strange]

What an incredible poem, I just related so much, especially to the stuff about doobies that are too mild. Phew, what could be worse? Not only that, EVERYthing rhymed so well, you know? I, for one, have printed it out, had it framed and it now hangs on my living room wall. Keep writin', keep rockin', keep rhymin'!

[suspicious]

I was wondering about the Commie plot part. I am an American and know there are a lot of Commies around, they hide under rocks, places like that. Do you think maybe even they started the fire?

[Me]

You are absolutely sick in the head. Our city is in an emergency and all you can think of is smoking pot. You're PATHETIC and a waste of space on this earth. Grow up and get a life. How would you like to lose your house and all of your possessions? Too bad we didn't know where you lived, then we could take away everything that you own and then see what your sick poems are about. Get a life you idiot.

[Seriously sick of serious]

Dearest 'Me':

Oh, you charmer.

Ahem. Please do tell, what exactly is the current emergency in the city? Only wondering, since the fire is, after all, 100% contained. Or are you of the September 11th rah-rah American mentality, keep pumping it for all it's worth?

P.S. I am OUT of my head, not SICK in the head, silly boy. Sorry kiddo, but I'd say if anybody needs a toke to get a grip, it would be you.